Thursday, January 10, 2008
Barnacles!
We all know about Nature being red in tooth and claw, but Kipling never warned us about the other aspect she's famous for...well, except for pointing out about the deadly females....
Mike's kitty girl Sandy is Growing Up. She has been having fits of prowling around chirping and calling, fits that are getting closer and closer together. I blame the wacky seasons which have been swinging wildly between winter and spring. Just yesterday I saw three HUGE flies buzzing around the screen door!
Anyway, I had been explaining to Mike just tonight that Sandy is being so noisy because she wants a boyfriend to have kittens with. He was very indignant. "She already has Paws!" But Paws has had The Operation, I explained. So she wants an OUTSIDE boyfriend. Which she won't be getting, because now she has an appointment herself, next Tuesday.
So we come to the barnacles. As you may or may not know, this word is a favorite expletive of SpongeBob SquarePants. Mike often reprimands me when I say one of the Bad Words, and tells me to say, "Barnacles!" instead.
But now I am not going to be able to, at least not with a straight face. I had the happy idea of looking up barnacles on Google, so Mike could see what they look like. And as one does, we got sucked into reading a couple of pages about them. Did you know the newly hatched barnacle babies cannot eat? They have to glue themselves down somewhere first. Which made me wonder in passing exactly how the babies get produced in the first place, if the adults are glued down....
Then I saw it. And I can never unsee it.
(Note: I am altering the technical term here because I really don't need to be showing up on Google searches for these particular words!)
How is works is that the male grows an insanely long p***s, many times bigger than his own body (!!!), and sends it out groping around the neighborhood cluster until it finds a female.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to Mike, "That's disgusting!"
All I could do was tell him that Nature sometimes is.
And maybe the barnacle would think the same thing about HIS p***s.
Mike's kitty girl Sandy is Growing Up. She has been having fits of prowling around chirping and calling, fits that are getting closer and closer together. I blame the wacky seasons which have been swinging wildly between winter and spring. Just yesterday I saw three HUGE flies buzzing around the screen door!
Anyway, I had been explaining to Mike just tonight that Sandy is being so noisy because she wants a boyfriend to have kittens with. He was very indignant. "She already has Paws!" But Paws has had The Operation, I explained. So she wants an OUTSIDE boyfriend. Which she won't be getting, because now she has an appointment herself, next Tuesday.
So we come to the barnacles. As you may or may not know, this word is a favorite expletive of SpongeBob SquarePants. Mike often reprimands me when I say one of the Bad Words, and tells me to say, "Barnacles!" instead.
But now I am not going to be able to, at least not with a straight face. I had the happy idea of looking up barnacles on Google, so Mike could see what they look like. And as one does, we got sucked into reading a couple of pages about them. Did you know the newly hatched barnacle babies cannot eat? They have to glue themselves down somewhere first. Which made me wonder in passing exactly how the babies get produced in the first place, if the adults are glued down....
Then I saw it. And I can never unsee it.
(Note: I am altering the technical term here because I really don't need to be showing up on Google searches for these particular words!)
How is works is that the male grows an insanely long p***s, many times bigger than his own body (!!!), and sends it out groping around the neighborhood cluster until it finds a female.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to Mike, "That's disgusting!"
All I could do was tell him that Nature sometimes is.
And maybe the barnacle would think the same thing about HIS p***s.
Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
