Friday, April 27, 2007
Breathing day
Man, so much has been going on lately, it seems like I can't post about anything in a timely fashion anymore!
Today I don't have too much to do except get ready to go out of town to a Democratic training session. The carpool leaves at 3am. *sigh* Sometimes living out here surrounded by vast rural beauty sucks.
Okay, catching up. As the splendiforous readers of Crabby Mike already know, on Tuesday he and I went on a field trip to a local prison as part of a program called Choices. It's intended to show impressionable youth that prison life is not much fun.
I was expecting something where they tried to scare the kids, and there were some minor low-key elements like that. What I wasn't expecting was to see half a dozen hardened repeat offenders tell their life stories in harrowing detail, sometimes crying. The message they drove home repeatedly was to TALK TO SOMEONE when things are happening that are driving you to desperation. Stand up with others at your school against bullying. You have more choice than you think, and the choices you make matter.
The lesson I came away with was that if we took a small percentage of the money we are GOING to be spending on prisons and put it into child protection services that actually DO something...we wouldn't be needing most of those prisons down the road.
Another thing that made this week a bit more of a trial than fully necessary was that someone (who meant well, I'm sure) pointed my daughter at the posts I have written about my personal difficulties in dealing with our situation.
Despite there being no identifying information connected to her name, and my assurance that EVEN IF ANYONE HAD THE SLIGHTEST INTEREST IN TRYING she would not come up in a Google search, nothing would do but for me to go and adjust my personal writing to suit her paranoid needs.
So, trying to be nice, I did. What that act of conciliation got me was...demands for more conciliations. Still, a chance for communication had unexpectedly opened, so I decided to try to use it to sort things out. I mean, someone has to be the grown-up, right?
It worked out about as well as you are probably guessing it did. Not. Basically we are living in two alternate, incompatible realities. In the D-verse, anything not 100% focused on her wants, needs and feelings is unwelcome. In fact, it doesn't even exist.
As Mike used to say, "OHHH WELL. Get used to it!"
Some good news is that things went much better with my therapist visit this time. I had a lot of new stuff to talk about, obviously, but also, Cindy herself brought up her feeling that we had gotten off to a poor start because she had formed the idea what I had come in to find a way to reconcile with my wayward child. She apologized really nicely, and that was that. Instead we talked about things like setting appropriate boundaries and ways to deal with recurring depressive thoughts.
One way was to think of something really silly and completely unrelated to whatever might start to weigh on my mind. She also mentioned pre-planned non-verbal cues to others, so they could change the subject in social situations if need be.
So I told Caro later, "When you see me stick myself in the neck with a fork, that means I need to be distracted."
That pretty much catches me up, I think.
Today I don't have too much to do except get ready to go out of town to a Democratic training session. The carpool leaves at 3am. *sigh* Sometimes living out here surrounded by vast rural beauty sucks.
Okay, catching up. As the splendiforous readers of Crabby Mike already know, on Tuesday he and I went on a field trip to a local prison as part of a program called Choices. It's intended to show impressionable youth that prison life is not much fun.
I was expecting something where they tried to scare the kids, and there were some minor low-key elements like that. What I wasn't expecting was to see half a dozen hardened repeat offenders tell their life stories in harrowing detail, sometimes crying. The message they drove home repeatedly was to TALK TO SOMEONE when things are happening that are driving you to desperation. Stand up with others at your school against bullying. You have more choice than you think, and the choices you make matter.
The lesson I came away with was that if we took a small percentage of the money we are GOING to be spending on prisons and put it into child protection services that actually DO something...we wouldn't be needing most of those prisons down the road.
Another thing that made this week a bit more of a trial than fully necessary was that someone (who meant well, I'm sure) pointed my daughter at the posts I have written about my personal difficulties in dealing with our situation.
Despite there being no identifying information connected to her name, and my assurance that EVEN IF ANYONE HAD THE SLIGHTEST INTEREST IN TRYING she would not come up in a Google search, nothing would do but for me to go and adjust my personal writing to suit her paranoid needs.
So, trying to be nice, I did. What that act of conciliation got me was...demands for more conciliations. Still, a chance for communication had unexpectedly opened, so I decided to try to use it to sort things out. I mean, someone has to be the grown-up, right?
It worked out about as well as you are probably guessing it did. Not. Basically we are living in two alternate, incompatible realities. In the D-verse, anything not 100% focused on her wants, needs and feelings is unwelcome. In fact, it doesn't even exist.
As Mike used to say, "OHHH WELL. Get used to it!"
Some good news is that things went much better with my therapist visit this time. I had a lot of new stuff to talk about, obviously, but also, Cindy herself brought up her feeling that we had gotten off to a poor start because she had formed the idea what I had come in to find a way to reconcile with my wayward child. She apologized really nicely, and that was that. Instead we talked about things like setting appropriate boundaries and ways to deal with recurring depressive thoughts.
One way was to think of something really silly and completely unrelated to whatever might start to weigh on my mind. She also mentioned pre-planned non-verbal cues to others, so they could change the subject in social situations if need be.
So I told Caro later, "When you see me stick myself in the neck with a fork, that means I need to be distracted."
That pretty much catches me up, I think.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I'm going to prison tomorrow
Mike too. It's a field trip. One of those programs where the prisoners try to freak the kids out so they won't end up there behind bars themselves someday. Should be interesting.
It's the start of yet another crazy full week, and I haven't even caught up posting about LAST week yet! I was so off my game that I forgot to watch Heroes tonight!! I am an iriot.
Friday my planned workday got interrupted because some idiot child slipped a note with a bomb threat to the office. That put it into the 'take it serious' category, so they evacuated the place, called in the bomb sniffing dogs, and ticked off a LOT of truck drivers by routing them off the highway that passes the school and into the residential streets around it. From where parents were coming to pick up their kids. Parents who ran into police roadblocks between them and their kids when they tried. *sigh* Oh, well, it was our first big bomb scare of the modern era. I'm sure we'll get better at it.
Something else I forgot to talk about was the Project Fair (although Crabby Mike readers already heard a little bit about it. The idea of the Project Fair is to let the special ed kids who don't usually get to be in Science Fair and such have their own place to shine. There are a bunch of categories for them to choose from, and everyone gets to participate. We had schools send students from 100 miles away in Limon and 80 miles away in Springfield! After the kids give their reports to the judging teams, they get to go in the big hall and play carnival games. So it's a really fun day.
Here's a pic of Mike with his report on tornadoes and his tornado in a bottle.
It's the start of yet another crazy full week, and I haven't even caught up posting about LAST week yet! I was so off my game that I forgot to watch Heroes tonight!! I am an iriot.
Friday my planned workday got interrupted because some idiot child slipped a note with a bomb threat to the office. That put it into the 'take it serious' category, so they evacuated the place, called in the bomb sniffing dogs, and ticked off a LOT of truck drivers by routing them off the highway that passes the school and into the residential streets around it. From where parents were coming to pick up their kids. Parents who ran into police roadblocks between them and their kids when they tried. *sigh* Oh, well, it was our first big bomb scare of the modern era. I'm sure we'll get better at it.
Something else I forgot to talk about was the Project Fair (although Crabby Mike readers already heard a little bit about it. The idea of the Project Fair is to let the special ed kids who don't usually get to be in Science Fair and such have their own place to shine. There are a bunch of categories for them to choose from, and everyone gets to participate. We had schools send students from 100 miles away in Limon and 80 miles away in Springfield! After the kids give their reports to the judging teams, they get to go in the big hall and play carnival games. So it's a really fun day.
Here's a pic of Mike with his report on tornadoes and his tornado in a bottle.
Monday, April 23, 2007
I was a PSTP before PSTPs were cool
There's an event going on, mainly on Live Journal, celebrating International Pixel-stained Technopeasant Day. This is because of some dude named Hendrix (not the dead rock star) having a hissyfit over people givin' it away for fun or love instead of selling the goods like a proper...professional. Writer.
You may recall that at about this time last year I was pestering my readers with notices of sections of my sf novel Seasons going live online. It was an experiment for me. I haven't come to any firm conclusions about its success yet because (brace yourself for a shock) I haven't yet done most of the things I was planning to do to promote it....
In honor of the Day, I thought I would just repost the link to the starting page, which has been newly refurbished with the addition of a clickable Table of Contents, so that readers can find their way back to where they left off without having to surf forward through every link. (I should have thought of that before, eh? Well, live and learn.)
So here's the link. Seasons Have fun!
You may recall that at about this time last year I was pestering my readers with notices of sections of my sf novel Seasons going live online. It was an experiment for me. I haven't come to any firm conclusions about its success yet because (brace yourself for a shock) I haven't yet done most of the things I was planning to do to promote it....
In honor of the Day, I thought I would just repost the link to the starting page, which has been newly refurbished with the addition of a clickable Table of Contents, so that readers can find their way back to where they left off without having to surf forward through every link. (I should have thought of that before, eh? Well, live and learn.)
So here's the link. Seasons Have fun!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Confusion
I had another session with my therapist Thursday. This was my second one with Cindy. When I saw her the week before I was pretty much in the worst part of the virus I am still coughing from, so I felt like I wasn't in a good state to make judgments. This time I felt a lot more functional, mentally. Unfortunately that is only reinforcing my idea that we may not be compatible.
One problem is that she asks questions I don't know how to answer because I don't know how she means them. Trying to figure that out seems to get us off on tangents to topics that aren't really germane to my problem.
At one point, while explaining to me the causes of depression, she said that when I noticed I was having thoughts that upset me, I should break that cycle. I reminded her that that was why I was COMING here, as I had not been having much luck managing to do that. And she said brightly, "Just stop thinking about it!" Which is good advice so far as it goes, but in practical terms it's about as helpful as advising someone not to walk on a broken leg.
My assignment for this week is a good example of the problem. I am supposed to think about why D's overblown sense of entitlement makes me so mad.
The primary answer to this is that EVERYONE with an overblown sense of entitlement makes me mad. Maybe it's because I have an overblown sense that justice and egalitarianism is how things should work in a perfect world, I don't know. If we move from the general to the specific, you could say I don't like D's entitlement behavior because that isn't how I tried to raise her. But Cindy and I are already in agreement that it's not my job anymore to try to change D. So I don't see any point at all in spending any time on this question.
Anybody got any idea on what the point might be? 'Cause I got nuthin'.
One problem is that she asks questions I don't know how to answer because I don't know how she means them. Trying to figure that out seems to get us off on tangents to topics that aren't really germane to my problem.
At one point, while explaining to me the causes of depression, she said that when I noticed I was having thoughts that upset me, I should break that cycle. I reminded her that that was why I was COMING here, as I had not been having much luck managing to do that. And she said brightly, "Just stop thinking about it!" Which is good advice so far as it goes, but in practical terms it's about as helpful as advising someone not to walk on a broken leg.
My assignment for this week is a good example of the problem. I am supposed to think about why D's overblown sense of entitlement makes me so mad.
The primary answer to this is that EVERYONE with an overblown sense of entitlement makes me mad. Maybe it's because I have an overblown sense that justice and egalitarianism is how things should work in a perfect world, I don't know. If we move from the general to the specific, you could say I don't like D's entitlement behavior because that isn't how I tried to raise her. But Cindy and I are already in agreement that it's not my job anymore to try to change D. So I don't see any point at all in spending any time on this question.
Anybody got any idea on what the point might be? 'Cause I got nuthin'.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I had to share this one!
(Cross-posted from one of my political blog homes.)
I honestly cannot tell if this letter to the editor is for real, or an elaborate prank! Either way, it's hysterical!
Click here to see the clipping from Monday's Arkansas Democrat Gazette
"You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two.
This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You wold think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?
Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects."
It is signed Connie M. Meskimen of Hot Springs, who seems to be an actual working attorney.
I honestly cannot tell if this letter to the editor is for real, or an elaborate prank! Either way, it's hysterical!
Click here to see the clipping from Monday's Arkansas Democrat Gazette
"You may have noticed that March of this year was particularly hot. As a matter of fact, I understand that it was the hottest March since the beginning of the last century. All of the trees were fully leafed out and legions of bugs and snakes were crawling around during a time in Arkansas when, on a normal year, we might see a snowflake or two.
This should come as no surprise to any reasonable person. As you know, Daylight Saving Time started almost a month early this year. You wold think that members of Congress would have considered the warming effect that an extra hour of daylight would have on our climate. Or did they?
Perhaps this is another plot by a liberal Congress to make us believe that global warming is a real threat. Perhaps next time there should be serious studies performed before Congress passes laws with such far-reaching effects."
It is signed Connie M. Meskimen of Hot Springs, who seems to be an actual working attorney.
I was right about the busy week...
...and next week looks like more of the same. But as I try to remind myself, nursing homes are full of folks who WISH they had too much to do....
I am still coughing more than is fun for me, but I'm slowly weaning myself off the generic guaifenesin pills. They work well, and don't taste as nasty as the liquid version, but the kind with decongestant added have an unfortunate side effect that causes me to make frequent rapid trips to the bathroom, and the kind with dextromethorphan gives me wacky dreams. With extra wack.
Like the other night when something made a highway explode. I was part of the nearby crowd who pitched in to dig the pieces of pavement out from under the overpass and try to reassemble them like a jigsaw puzzle. I think it was because Joss Whedon was there telling us to do it. See? Weird even by MY standards.
Here's something funny that happened that was real. We went out to breakfast Tuesday with my mom and my nephew Jeff before they started the long drive back home to Virginia. The place we picked was a good old country diner type place where all the folks who have lived here forever tend to go.
Because I know Jeff is a big fan, I wore my new shirt which I bought on eBay:
He liked it, and was jealous in the tree, as Mike says. But when we went to pay, the waitress working the cash register saw my shirt and said, "Oh my, is that from that Heroes show? I just love that--I'm so glad it's starting up again next week!"
Goes to show you never can tell, as ol' Chuck Berry used to sing.
I have more pictures and more things to say, but I don't want this to get too long. Maybe I will post again before bed.
I am still coughing more than is fun for me, but I'm slowly weaning myself off the generic guaifenesin pills. They work well, and don't taste as nasty as the liquid version, but the kind with decongestant added have an unfortunate side effect that causes me to make frequent rapid trips to the bathroom, and the kind with dextromethorphan gives me wacky dreams. With extra wack.
Like the other night when something made a highway explode. I was part of the nearby crowd who pitched in to dig the pieces of pavement out from under the overpass and try to reassemble them like a jigsaw puzzle. I think it was because Joss Whedon was there telling us to do it. See? Weird even by MY standards.
Here's something funny that happened that was real. We went out to breakfast Tuesday with my mom and my nephew Jeff before they started the long drive back home to Virginia. The place we picked was a good old country diner type place where all the folks who have lived here forever tend to go.
Because I know Jeff is a big fan, I wore my new shirt which I bought on eBay:
He liked it, and was jealous in the tree, as Mike says. But when we went to pay, the waitress working the cash register saw my shirt and said, "Oh my, is that from that Heroes show? I just love that--I'm so glad it's starting up again next week!"
Goes to show you never can tell, as ol' Chuck Berry used to sing.
I have more pictures and more things to say, but I don't want this to get too long. Maybe I will post again before bed.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Weekend in review
As usual, I didn't get too many of the things I had planned to do done, but I did do a few things, and it was a generally pleasant weekend. Most of the snow has melted, and spring is coming around yet again.
Next week is already starting to look kind of busy. All I can do is set my mind to not falling any further behind than I already am....
Here's something funny I got from the Word A Day mailing list. Last week's theme was words that sound naughty but aren't.
"This is what I got on the old websters-online-dictionary.org when I tried
to look for the various definitions of the word 'cock'.
(We only learned it in school in the meaning of : the adult male of the
domestic chicken (Gallus gallus).
Webster:
I'm sorry, the word you requested may be inappropriate for children. We
require a password to view the page.The answer to any of these questions is
a valid password for this page:
1. Cher's former partner's last name (4 letters)
2. The cube root of twenty seven (5 letters)
3. The "incident" before the Vietnam War (6 letters)
4. The theory that physiology and physics are drivers of economics (15 letters)
5. A good mustard (5 letters)"
I knew three of these, but was totally blanking on 3 and 4. Any ideas?
Next week is already starting to look kind of busy. All I can do is set my mind to not falling any further behind than I already am....
Here's something funny I got from the Word A Day mailing list. Last week's theme was words that sound naughty but aren't.
"This is what I got on the old websters-online-dictionary.org when I tried
to look for the various definitions of the word 'cock'.
(We only learned it in school in the meaning of : the adult male of the
domestic chicken (Gallus gallus).
Webster:
I'm sorry, the word you requested may be inappropriate for children. We
require a password to view the page.The answer to any of these questions is
a valid password for this page:
1. Cher's former partner's last name (4 letters)
2. The cube root of twenty seven (5 letters)
3. The "incident" before the Vietnam War (6 letters)
4. The theory that physiology and physics are drivers of economics (15 letters)
5. A good mustard (5 letters)"
I knew three of these, but was totally blanking on 3 and 4. Any ideas?
Friday, April 13, 2007
Somebody's not getting a letter
I feel like I am finally getting out from under the Cough That Did Not QUITE Carry Me Off. Nothing much interesting has been happening to me while I've been sick, though, so you haven't missed anything by me not posting.
I did manage to make it to my counseling appointment on Tuesday. Nothing new to report there either, except I have an assignment to explore my feelings by writing a letter about them. As if to be sent to D, but not really. Hence my subject line.
A somewhat cool thing has happened to me today. As you may or may not know, I take an interest in politics, and do a little posting of that nature here and there, which I mostly spare you guys, especially when it's state or local stuff.
Well, today I made a post to SquareState.net in support of a bill which has passed both our state houses and is heading for the Governor's desk. What it will do is allow children who have been adopted by a single person (such as my boy Mike) to be co-adopted by another person or couple. So Mike could get the legal security of the clone ALSO being his legal parent should something happen to me. But also, for instance, grandparents or other well-off relatives could co-adopt a child of a new mom. That way the child could get insurance benefits from their coverage.
Naturally Focus on the Family and their ilk are all up in arms that this will bring about the end of the world as we know it. (Like that would be a bad thing....)
Anyway, what I was chuffed about was that the SquareState mods chose to put my post up onto the home page! So if you go to the link above, you can see my finely crafted words, and also Mike being a poster boy, since I happened to have a pic of him and Governor Ritter from the campaign last summer.
In other news that is cool--cold, actually--we got a pretty hefty spring snow today. They actually sent the kids and teachers home at noon! There's probably six inches out there now, with another 1-4 expected tonight. But it's a wet snow, and will probably melt off fast.
I did manage to make it to my counseling appointment on Tuesday. Nothing new to report there either, except I have an assignment to explore my feelings by writing a letter about them. As if to be sent to D, but not really. Hence my subject line.
A somewhat cool thing has happened to me today. As you may or may not know, I take an interest in politics, and do a little posting of that nature here and there, which I mostly spare you guys, especially when it's state or local stuff.
Well, today I made a post to SquareState.net in support of a bill which has passed both our state houses and is heading for the Governor's desk. What it will do is allow children who have been adopted by a single person (such as my boy Mike) to be co-adopted by another person or couple. So Mike could get the legal security of the clone ALSO being his legal parent should something happen to me. But also, for instance, grandparents or other well-off relatives could co-adopt a child of a new mom. That way the child could get insurance benefits from their coverage.
Naturally Focus on the Family and their ilk are all up in arms that this will bring about the end of the world as we know it. (Like that would be a bad thing....)
Anyway, what I was chuffed about was that the SquareState mods chose to put my post up onto the home page! So if you go to the link above, you can see my finely crafted words, and also Mike being a poster boy, since I happened to have a pic of him and Governor Ritter from the campaign last summer.
In other news that is cool--cold, actually--we got a pretty hefty spring snow today. They actually sent the kids and teachers home at noon! There's probably six inches out there now, with another 1-4 expected tonight. But it's a wet snow, and will probably melt off fast.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Wo, a whole week, really?
I have an excuse. In fact, I could give you a note from my mom if you want, since she is visiting currently. That's one of the reasons I haven't had time to post anything.
The other one is that for the past couple of days I have been sick with a virus that skips the niceties and goes straight for your bronchii, doing its dead level best to choke off your oxygen supply. Generic Mucinex is doing a pretty good job of foiling its evil plan, but hurt all over from coughing so much. Sux to be me.
Let's see, what did I do this past week?
Wednesday, bought books at the last day of the Lamar library sale. Thursday, bought more books at the first day of the Las Animas library sale. Then Mom came and we commenced with the family visiting.
Speaking of family, my sister in Virginia sent me this amazing pic she took in her yard after a spring snow. It's a dragonfly that got caught out by the rapidly changing weather. She told me later on it had thawed a little and was moving, but I don't know how it came out.
The other one is that for the past couple of days I have been sick with a virus that skips the niceties and goes straight for your bronchii, doing its dead level best to choke off your oxygen supply. Generic Mucinex is doing a pretty good job of foiling its evil plan, but hurt all over from coughing so much. Sux to be me.
Let's see, what did I do this past week?
Wednesday, bought books at the last day of the Lamar library sale. Thursday, bought more books at the first day of the Las Animas library sale. Then Mom came and we commenced with the family visiting.
Speaking of family, my sister in Virginia sent me this amazing pic she took in her yard after a spring snow. It's a dragonfly that got caught out by the rapidly changing weather. She told me later on it had thawed a little and was moving, but I don't know how it came out.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Short sweet Tune Tuesday post
The week is progressing busily, as predicted. Today I had my meeting with Kitty the Feelings Doctor. It was mostly just an intake thingie, but so far so good.
In the evening, Mike and I went to our sixth Weather Spotters training. It was interesting as usual, and the trainer had also been assigned to investigate the Holly tornado scene, so we got a glimpse of detail as to how tornadoes are assigned ratings. This one turned out to have been an EF3. Seeing pics of the destruction on a huge theater size screen was stunning.
In honor of the training, I decided the ideal Tune Tuesday song would be:
The Weathergirls - It's Raining Men
Click here to download from YouSendIt!
In the evening, Mike and I went to our sixth Weather Spotters training. It was interesting as usual, and the trainer had also been assigned to investigate the Holly tornado scene, so we got a glimpse of detail as to how tornadoes are assigned ratings. This one turned out to have been an EF3. Seeing pics of the destruction on a huge theater size screen was stunning.
In honor of the training, I decided the ideal Tune Tuesday song would be:
The Weathergirls - It's Raining Men
Click here to download from YouSendIt!
Sunday, April 01, 2007
April's fooling with me already
Probably not going to be doing much catching up THIS week. Today is the Friends of the Library book sale's first day. Wednesday is the sale's clean up day, and then Thursday is the first day of a library sale in Las Animas, the next town over. Also my mom and assorted relatives are coming out for a visit!
Had to laugh at THIS yesterday:
Mike nearly considers his leather jacket a second skin. Many nights when we check on him after he has gone to bed, we have to wake him up to remind him to take it off!
But you can't really blame him. He knows he looks good in it!
Had to laugh at THIS yesterday:
Mike nearly considers his leather jacket a second skin. Many nights when we check on him after he has gone to bed, we have to wake him up to remind him to take it off!
But you can't really blame him. He knows he looks good in it!
