The Neon Nurse's Charting

Continuing to plug away on The Project, which like all proper projects seems determined to take at LEAST twice as long to complete as first estimated....

Today, being Saturday, was Yard Sale Day, and it handily made up for last week's pathetic single offering, where we acquired 70 cents worth of artificial flowers.

The first five sales were only so-so, and we missed by THIS MUCH a whole box of Breyer horses. :<

The sixth was in a very small town 30 miles away, and we were of two minds whether to even bother. The ad in the paper gave the following directions, "six blocks west on the damn road" and we weren't sure whether the people placing the ad were trying to be funny (that's the road to John Martin DAM, you see) or the idiots at the Lamar Daily Snooze were just living down to their usual standards.

At first we decided we WOULD go, because an auction was scheduled today in the town half-way in between, so it would only cost about $4 more in gas to swoop over and check out sale #6 before the auction started. But then everything took longer than we planned (see opening para of post) and we decided NOT to go.

But upon pre-viewing the auction goods laid out on display, we decided there was nothing up for sale that we wanted badly enough to make standing around in a cold breeze for 6-8 hours seem like a fair deal. Nothing we could afford, anyway. (Mike REEEEAALLY liked the windmill head.)

So since we were already close, we went ahead to the sale on the dam(n) road. And...SCORE! We went home with 4 boxes of books at a dime each and a big box of videos at a quarter each!

Oh, and yesterday we saw a box of books sitting next to a trash dumpster, which the trash crew had apparently disdained to haul away. Since the Friends of the Library sale is coming up, we thought we might as well grab those books up, because even if they weren't salable on line, someone might give the library 50 cents each for a couple of them. And it was a good thought, because most of them WERE very common. Except for the $25 one on societal persecutions between 950-1250!

It's a lot of hard work, but this is such a FUN way to earn a living!

I'm making pretty good inroads on sorting books, I am happy to say. Going through these boxes is its own reward, because I find stuff I forgot we bought, and some of it is so cool and unusual and delightful! I won't talk about those items right now, because it will be more fun when there are pictures and full descriptions.

Here's a treat though. Made me burst out laughing. This is a title page. Check out the primo young dudes fully illustrating the concept of "Young Sportsman":



Segueing to other old and watery things of interest, Mike and I have been enjoying a PBS series on videotape, Legendary Lighthouses, one hour per night. These are not only full of educational historical facts, they are gorgeous. I am deeply and retroactively in love with whoever invented the Frenel lens--Monsieur Frenel, one supposes. Glorious things of ancient technological beauty.

So far we have enjoyed the lighthouses and scenery of the southeast US coast and Florida, the Great Lakes (which have more lighthouses than both US seaboards combined, if I heard that right), California and the Pacific Northwest. The last tape is of the North Atlantic and Maine, which we will start tomorrow.

Try not to be frightened....

As you may recall, we have been working on trying to get several years worth of accumulated goods sorted and out the door, either by selling it, consigning it to be sold elsewhere, giving it away, storing it in the sheds we BOUGHT for that whole REASON for cryin' out loud...and even taking it to the dump when all else fails.

There's actually a good reason we have been living in little caves and tunnels made out of bins of books and stuff. (And it's not insanity. No, really, we aren't classic hoarders, because we are FINE with getting rid of stuff.)

See, a few years back there was a change in the water law in our area, and the end result was that farmers up and down the Arkansas Valley had to cap off many of their irrigation wells and let the water run downstream to those whiny babies in Kansas. (Not that we are bitter.) This caused the area water tables to rise a good ten feet. And those of us who live kind of near the Arkansas River and have bsements? Why, WE got some extra water too!

So our basement is kind of a giant mold pit. We threw out all the wet stuff when it flooded. All three times. And now we have a sump pump to prevent it happening again. But until we have the wherewithal for some major rennovations, all the basement is good for is storing stuff, providing the stuff is well wrapped in plastic or sealed in bins.

Hence our Basement of Doom, which is pretty much full. Lots of that junk could go, but IT needs sorting too, and there are only so many hours in a day, y'know? But because the B of D is full, the overflow was getting stacked in the upstairs part of the house.

We decided this spring break would be a great time for an all-out assault, instead of the slow picking away at one box at a time. Yesterday was Day One. I moved a bunch of things (*cough* to a different but easier to disassemble Big Stack) yesterday...so the following picture is not strictly a Before. I think it does look a little worse than it did before we started, because it's looser, no longer neatly stacked with a cloth over it:



I am posting this in large part so that I will feel honor bound to FINISH the project, what with all of you KNOWING ABOUT IT and expecting to see something remarkable by way of results in a week or so.

Meanwhile, a fun game! Like in those kids magazines from my youth. Can you spot these items?

Japanese fishing float, stuffed (toy) shark, mounted sailfish, vintage dentist's exam light, vase of peacock feathers, treadmill, lamp made of acrylic grapes, china cabinet, floor.

Yesterday I was happily plugging along getting soooo much done that I decided it was the perfect day to do a task from my List of things that are crucial, stupifyingly important and MUST be done ASAP OMG WTF BBQ!

Caro's Norton Antivirus had expired on her computer. As the once deep passionate love NAV and I shared had dwindled (and I never cared for McAwfullee), the plan was to do as I had done on mine and install Zone Alarm Security, which is a combo firewall and AV program.

This time I DID remember to uninstall NAV first, although I neglected to shut down the XP firewall. Still, things went swimmingly until it was all in and all done...except for in the way it wasn't, as it would no longer allow Caro's computer to touch the bad nasty unclean internet, not even if it promised to wash its hands really good later and gargle with Listerine.

And then I remembered it had done this with me before, with MY computer. Something about us having these two machines one the one hub and router, I think. Except I couldn't remember just exactly what I did to fix it last time. So I had to futz around for what should have been six productive hours of my day typing new number thingies into the something or other programs in charge of ISP and DSN and yet more OMGWFTBBQ.

And finally JUST before the Daily Show came on her machine said, "Okay FINE, have it YOUR way!" and connected and agreed to download current virus defs and start the virus scan. And it's all fine now. Don't ask me how or why.

Today I am graced with the company of grandgirlie Marisa, who had some extremely stubborn baby teeth extracted last week. They had been fighting a long losing turf battle with the permanents, and because of the awkward placement this caused, there was a bit of underlying infection. She is taking an antibiotic for it, and suffering a common side effect of same, making it awkward to attend school and stay in the classroom for normally contiguous lengths of time, if you know what I mean.

I am hobbling around much faster today, although my knee is quick with a reminder if I get TOO frisky. But so far so good. Caro's vehicle, the Nimbus 1995, now has a working horn again and all new internal combustion potions applied. Today is Dreamcloud's turn at Rick the Car Doctor's.

I have an order to fill today for someone who lives on Sockless Road in Tennessee. This amuses me.

Other than all that, not much news.

Let's pretend I am sitting here typing it in the dark, okay?

Damaris came over here for lunch. She wanted me to meet her in town, but I was feeling groggy and still wobbly on my feet (A from ANOTHER nap and b from the knee thing), so I declined. "I don't want you to spend your money on meeeee," I sighed pitifully. But she did anyway, bringing me a lovely roast beef sandwich from SqueezeNose. (You probably know them as Quizno's, if you don't have a Mike in your family.)

We had a nice lunch and did not give the poor dog ANY (except crusts, which of course is so not fair). We laughed and complained and made plans. But now she is gone and I am all aloooone.

I want her to hurry up and quit her minimum wage not even full time job at the flower shop where they are mean to her and don't appreciate her, and come to work with meeee, as we planned when she moved down here. So we can have lunch together a whole bunch and laugh all the time while we work and make people happy all over the world selling them wonderful books.

But of course I would never nag her about it.

I haven't spend at much time at the computer today as I usually do. Partly because I was out running around a lot, partly because I went hog wild and took a NAP in the middle of the day. Also, my usual "chair" here in front of the computer is a big exercise ball, which I use because it does not cut off the circulation in my legs like a regular chair does. But it is hard to get seated on when you are essentially working one-legged, so it is put aside for now.

So I went to the clinic today and saw an actual doctor, as my dear sweet PA Andy was too full. (Everyone loves Andy, so he's the most requested one.) The doc was nice, though he wasn't sure what to make of my complaint. I looked it up some on Google last night, and couldn't decide between a Grade 1 strain of the Lateral Collateral (I just love to say that!) ligament or something else with initials that is pretty much an aggravation to an inflammation of same. The trouble is that damage to the LCL is rare outside of certain sports...which is what makes it so likely, in that I am somehow prone to injuring myself in creative ways.

The doc gave me a slip to go get an x-ray, which I was a bad patient and ignored. Didn't want to lay out the co-pay on the million to one shot that some piece of bone broke off spontaneously as I was walking through my living room. I kept it, though...I can always go do it if it isn't better in a few days. Instead I went with the doc's other advice and bought a knee brace and some generic naprosyn.

It wasn't a total waste going in to the clinic, though, because my blood pressure has been running high and my generic Lasix not being as effective. So he ordered me up a new BP med and had them come take some blood. I was mildly amused when the assistant doing the draw accidentally pulled out the needle but missed pressing the cotton ball in place quickly enough, which caused a spray of blood to go spritzing out in a dramatic fashion. I mean gee, I knew it was contents under pressure, but I didn't know it was THAT high!

The good news is that my knee is still tricky but already much better. I think if I am CAREFUL it will heal up reasonably quickly. I hope.

Oh, and Cowboy's teeth are in much better shape today too. No word on the vehicles yet.

Remember how Mike and I went to work out at the Community Building last Thursday? The office person had to go way back in the files and find my punch cards, one of which went back to 1994. I explained to her that it has taken me a long time to use up the cards because everytime I come there, something happens so that I can't come back for a while. (And then I forget....)

At least this time I don't have to have a sudden hysterectomy. (I know those are one to a customer--I AM a nurse, after all.) But I had been having trouble with a sort of overtight tendon in my left heel, and that aggravated the left knee somehow. The simple version is that I may have popped or torn the ligament in the back of my knee. I was just walking along, getting ready to take a batch of books to the PO when...pow. And ow.

So I slapped an ACE bandage on it, with Mike's help, and I have made an appointment with the doc for tomorrow--so I will see him sometime in between taking the oldest dog to get his teeth cleaned, plus our two cars (one at a time) for a checkup. (Can you tell we got our income tax refund?)

Anyway, Mike came home from school in a much better mood and is redeeming himself by trying to help take care of me. Right now he is teaching me how to play "Star", which is some mutant form of Chinese Checkers he and the girlies made up. Caro is making dinner and pretty soon I will give it all up to go see if there is anything good on TV.

Just two yard sales again today. One was a guy who is slowly selling out his dear departed mother's stuff, and it's cruel to say, but I could easily believe she departed to get away from him. He's one of these types who are just plain annoying, not out of meanness but just some sort of inability to focus past themselves and whatever it is they want at the moment. He's the kind of seller who starts his sale late, is always unorganized, complains unendingly and will change a marked price or just take something away from you that "shouldn't have been in the sale."

But that's all part of the yard sale game, so we suck it up and act nice like OUR mothers' taught us to. Came home from both sales with a couple dozen videos for $1 each, assorted books and a few other odds and ends. I got some of the books listed today and already sold one for $25!

When writing to someone else today I was reminded of a funny customer name story. In January I sold two items relating to chocolate candy.

Antique Pangburn Chocolates sign...bought by a guy named Pangburn.

Russell Stover ballcap...bought by a guy named Stover. Sadly, his first name was not Russell, but could be he had a Russell Stover in mind to give it to.

The hat was bright neon pink.

Here's another pic from the past I have been hanging on to for sharing with you guys, which fits this post since it's related to our biz.



We had a very pleasant surprise in January. While I was mining some of our bins of old yard sale acquisitions (funny how acquiring is so much easier than selling) I found a jar of rattlesnake rattles. Sold the ten biggest ones, as seen here, for $31! And the remainder for $171! I had NO idea...but you can bet we are keeping out eyes out for them now!

Check this out if you drive!

This site is called Gas Buddy:

http://www.gasbuddy.com/

You can go there and search for the cheapest gas or diesel prices in your area! How cool is that?

Yes, it's the story you've all been waiting to hear! It happened in 2003 at the Colorado State Fair, as so many magical things do. Caro, Mike and I had spent a jolly day doing fairish things, and by evening we were more than ready to sit down in actual seats (even folding chairs) inside an air conditioned building and await the beginning of the Weird Al concert.

Although the concert hall is newer than most of the rest of the State Fairgrounds, it isn't "modern" like other concert places, by which I mean the stage area isn't separated from the floor and seating area for security purposes. Except by a short run of steps, which hardly counts, as they could easily be charged and overcome by a troupe of arthritic dachshunds. But I expect the usual audience attending this Pueblo, Colorado venue isn't too hardcore, and it's not a problem.

I had ordered our tickets just as soon as the line-up for the fair (which has a different concert every night of the two week run) was announced, and we had gotten seats in (I think) row P, fairly close to the front. Aisle seats, too, which is always nice if you think you might want access to the restrooms. Caro and I sandwiched Mike in between us, with me taking the seat on the aisle. This would turn out to be a fortuitous choice.

The show was great, fast-paced with lots of video interludes to let them do their many costume changes. Weird Al is a real pro and puts on his show as though he's having the time of his life. When he actually came down the steps and out INTO the audience on one song, I was thrilled and amazed, even though it was over there on the OTHER side of the arena. 'Wouldn't you know?' I thought. 'Just my luck.'

It didn't seem likely he would do the same thing twice, but that goes to show you what *I* know about show business! He started in on one of the songs from his new album Poodle Hat, "Wanna B Ur Lovr", which is made up of ancient and cheesy pick-up lines. His costume was white satin with rhinestones, kind of a lounge lizard/Elvis wannabee effect. Now he was working OUR aisle, singing his sleazy love call to (mostly) cute young things. He had a moment with the one sitting right in front of me, who was so overcome by the spotlight and attention that she reflexively assumed the giggling fetal position like a teen roly-poly bug.

Al danced and sang past us, and I sat there marveling at how lucky we were to have these good seats and see him so close. Then, when he was on his way back to the stage again, we made eye contact! OMG our love is so happenstance-ical! He swooped over to dance about 6 inches away from my face, maximizing his groovy hip action. Having NEVER been burdened with a tendency to shrink away from the spotlight, I pretended to swoon. To revive me, Weird Al got even closer, adding a bump and grind pretty much in my face.

So I started to fondle his chest (all above the waist, I swear!). Which was, as chests go, quite a nice one, sweaty and solid and lithe and muscular. He threw his head back and stuck his tongue out about three yards or so, waggling it enthusiastically. And then the end bar of the chorus hit and we both backed off like we'd rehearsed the whole bit, him continuing the song and me NOW giggling like a goof. That was mostly because now I could react to how the audience around us had been shrieking and whooping with laughter--except for Mike, who had been shouting at me to keep my hands to myself, that was the RULE!!!

Caro just said, "I can't take you any place nice."

This is a superlative "ad" about prescription drugs, by the Austin Lounge Lizards. Go and laugh your tushie off! Then forward the email petition.

GIMME THAT DRUG!

Grandmas gotta brag.

Science Fair Grand Champion, Elementary level? Why, that would be our ZACH!